Earlier I said many times how happy I really was. So funny, because I've figured out that then I haven't really had any luck on the hills. Just now, I feel that I have.
Only this week, things have changed so much. I'm dared to come out of the shell and found out that it's way better like this. I don't know how I'm able to speak with someone so naturally about so many different things. I've never done that before. However, I 'm the girl who is content to stay in the background, quiet as mouse. Although I would like, but the courage is not enough.
Now I can't stop smiling. How can one person think everything so positive? I mean everything. "Needless to think everything so negative." I would really like to learn to be like him. This is probably already coming out of the heads, but I'm the happiest girl just this moment. I just don't want to let go. Trusting is still the hardest thing to me, but now I don't want to care about it. Why? Because I'm so fucking happy.
I wrote the first text entitled "How I deserve to be this happy?" Right, I don't deserve it. A couple of words, and all come to a standstill. I read those words many times over and over again, hoping that they wouldn't be true. With tears rolling down my face. I covered them, because no one receives to see how disappointed I was. It all seemed so perfect, but history once again ruined everything. I can't do nothing about that fact that people are so hard to trust.
I was then just seven years old, but still I remember the faces and facial expressions described like it was yesterday. With tears rolling down my sad face, I still thought it.
My guess is that I just have to accept the facts that my life is dependent on the history and it ruins my relationships.
Yesterday, I thought that I'm just upset but tomorrow it's gonna be crazy night! Fuck what they say, fuck about what hi said, I'm gonna be freaking drunk. Good night.
Mielipiteitä kuitenkin saa ja pitää jakaa, mutta hyvän maun rajoissa !
Nyt toivotan jo etukäteen hyvät jussit, olkaa ihmisiksi ja sitä rataa ;) !